Jesus H, I thought to myself a couple of hours ago while rambling past the Juicy Couture store on Market Street. Striding smugly over the conquest of a fierce pair of Magli boots, I was caught unawares by the white cotton jersey dress screaming from the window, marring my vision thusly with its glaring Gaudí-ness. Stamped about its flimsy form were a mess of anchors. Anchor(s), as in the apparatus(i) that secures a ship(s) to the ocean floor. Anchors, of the sort that adorn J. Crew sweaters and L. L. Bean Boat n’ Totes. Anchors, of the variety that Mission hipsters sport on their forearms in great sleeves of ink.
And here I thought people were over this shit by now, my inner voice prattled on, blissfully forgetting for a moment that I am registered to vote in California, progenitor (and sustainer) of the Juicy velour sweatpant-and-Ugg phenomenon. “Over this shit.” When— and more importantly, how— to decided when a trend is officially over? Done. And done again.
A couple of days ago I threw up a quick post begging Curbed SF readers, “has [architect] Renzo Piano jumped the shark?” (God help SF if the answer is a resounding “yes.”) The jumping of the shark: some claim the phrase itself expired a year or two back (as if 1977— the year the term was coined in an episode of “Happy Days”— isn’t far enough in the past to begin with). Regardless of time or trends, “jump (jumped, jumping) the shark” has retained its usefulness as a cleverly cloaked signifier of what once was, but is no longer.
Message to the Mission: It is official. Your beloved anchor has jumped— and not in the way any anchor worth its weight must do from time to time. Not as a matter of duty. The Anchor has met The Shark by means of a logo-embossed Bermuda Triangle, deftly drawn between you, fair trend setter, the aforementioned Big Fish, and— Tiffany. As in, “Breakfast at.” Passing Juicy and collecting an additional $2.25K or so along the way, the anchor has met its final, spectacular, platinum and diamond-encrusted end. Over. Out. Now, to remove the tattoo, or not?